Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
