I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
