How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize