did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
