How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
