i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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