He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
