it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
