Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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