You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
