I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize