Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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