Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
