Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i think i just lost a toe
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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