Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
