You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
