What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
