Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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