Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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