why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
