im six kinds of drunk right now
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
