Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
