Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize