Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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