I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
