Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize