Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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