i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
