yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
