This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
