the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
