This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
