Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
