"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
