girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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