anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
