I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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