I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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