It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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