Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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