yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I cut my penus on the lid.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
