Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
