White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
