so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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