is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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