I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
