im having a threesome with these popsicles
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
