there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
