We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
