just come out here and I will go home with you...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize