Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
