DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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