1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
