Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
