I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
