He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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