people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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