hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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